I have been home for 2 1/2 days so far and I have been feeling very out of it. I have been pretty organized and helpful. I have been getting along with my wife good now. I recognize that I am on a schedule that is 8 hour earlier. I wake up at night here and feel wide awake, but during the day I feel like I am very tired. My body clock is way off.
I am sure that a few more days of staying up late will do good for me. Christina is being patient with me. I appreciate the space she has given to me. I am too out of it lately for 'deep' thoughts.
Aaron
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
First Day Home
My first day home was wonderful. Christina and I caught up on many feelings that we wanted to share, but email just didn't do the trick so well, so we talked, laughed, and cried. I held her for moments throughout the day and enjoyed being close and talking. I stayed up as late as possible to try and overcome the time difference...It worked.
I understand in a deeper way why somethings just cannot be properly expressed over the phone. The reason feelings are shared in the first place is so that they can be understood and accepted. Obviously, in this world that doesn't happen for most people. Feelings are not well shared over email or phone so it makes sense that a emotional Tsunami hit me shortly after returning...I weathered it well, I listened and validated my wife's feelings and Whooosh they were gone and we could return to enjoying our time together. I can't believe that listening and validating feelings can be the answer to emotional communication, but now I understand it is...mostly by faith. I love my wife and when I see things from her perspective it helps me and her. Simplicity seems to be an important concept in relationships.
I don't know if I have any readers yet, but I am going to keep on blogging. If you are reading a quick hi would be nice. Take Care.
Aaron
I understand in a deeper way why somethings just cannot be properly expressed over the phone. The reason feelings are shared in the first place is so that they can be understood and accepted. Obviously, in this world that doesn't happen for most people. Feelings are not well shared over email or phone so it makes sense that a emotional Tsunami hit me shortly after returning...I weathered it well, I listened and validated my wife's feelings and Whooosh they were gone and we could return to enjoying our time together. I can't believe that listening and validating feelings can be the answer to emotional communication, but now I understand it is...mostly by faith. I love my wife and when I see things from her perspective it helps me and her. Simplicity seems to be an important concept in relationships.
I don't know if I have any readers yet, but I am going to keep on blogging. If you are reading a quick hi would be nice. Take Care.
Aaron
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Lack of Action
Entertaining thoughts of fear and love is a deeper way to start the day. This is where my thinking starts today. I suprised myself by filling two pages in my journal this morning with the day's journey just begun.
Perfect love casts out all fear. What does that love smell like? How does it escape my detection? I had hoped that the love I show was 'that' kind but this morning I find that it is not, but it is a valiant effort of words to make up for lack of action. Now if I could just get my lousy actions to match my words... I guess that is the rub. I recognize that this is a problem that I possess. I hold to it tightly at least the 'effort of words' part, the lack of action in meaning leaning toward 'lack' instead of 'action'.
I need to focus this effort on actions of a more selfless nature. The words of explanation should be retained until the correct actions have taken place. I need to do actions of love and no words, no promises, and no deals; just correct actions performed at the correct time that show the truth, then use words when required to explain success or to analyze misplaced actions.
Perfect love casts out all fear. What does that love smell like? How does it escape my detection? I had hoped that the love I show was 'that' kind but this morning I find that it is not, but it is a valiant effort of words to make up for lack of action. Now if I could just get my lousy actions to match my words... I guess that is the rub. I recognize that this is a problem that I possess. I hold to it tightly at least the 'effort of words' part, the lack of action in meaning leaning toward 'lack' instead of 'action'.
I need to focus this effort on actions of a more selfless nature. The words of explanation should be retained until the correct actions have taken place. I need to do actions of love and no words, no promises, and no deals; just correct actions performed at the correct time that show the truth, then use words when required to explain success or to analyze misplaced actions.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Last Few Days
I have few days left here in Kuwait. I am just finishing a 7 month deployment which was spent in Iraq. Every day was a work day, there were no weekends. I found some of my boundaries, and some of my boundaries found me. I know each of the Marines that worked for me, because we practically lived together for the entire time. When you spend 16-20 hours together in every 24 you tend to do one of two things, hate each other or develop a bond.
I am excited about many things that are waiting for me again. The chill of a cool pool on a hot day. The ticklish softness of the green grass between my toes. The giggle of children being tickled. The warm embrace of my wife. Over the last 7 months walking is the connection between every function I performed. Work: 8 minute walk, Convenience store: 16 min walk, Medical center: 20 min walk, Post office: 23 min, Chapel: 13 mins, Chowhall: 5,7, or 10 min (depending on my location). When I consider to distance to each place I realize that I may have walked more than any other function while in iraq.
The lanscape had a wide pallet of browns. I am sure that the first time I glimpse greens I will stand agape.
I miss the little people so much. Not just mine, though them most of all, but children in general. Their laughs, their honesty, thier deciet, their littleness. I almost laugh just thinking about how fun children are, and how much I missed them.
I will ponder all that I have missed and write more later.
Aaron
I am excited about many things that are waiting for me again. The chill of a cool pool on a hot day. The ticklish softness of the green grass between my toes. The giggle of children being tickled. The warm embrace of my wife. Over the last 7 months walking is the connection between every function I performed. Work: 8 minute walk, Convenience store: 16 min walk, Medical center: 20 min walk, Post office: 23 min, Chapel: 13 mins, Chowhall: 5,7, or 10 min (depending on my location). When I consider to distance to each place I realize that I may have walked more than any other function while in iraq.
The lanscape had a wide pallet of browns. I am sure that the first time I glimpse greens I will stand agape.
I miss the little people so much. Not just mine, though them most of all, but children in general. Their laughs, their honesty, thier deciet, their littleness. I almost laugh just thinking about how fun children are, and how much I missed them.
I will ponder all that I have missed and write more later.
Aaron
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